When my mom was dying, one of my brothers took the time to record her thoughts about each of her children. Just a few days later, when she passed away, I listened to the recording of what she'd said.
I thought I knew what she would say; She would talk about how stubborn I am. I assumed that she would go on about how I always had to have something to do to keep busy and that I didn't like people to disagree with me.
But I wasn't even close.
She talked about how confident I am. That I was courageous, even as a little girl, when I would jump in the swimming pool with no fear or join in play with kids I didn't know. She said, "Merrie (the name I was called growing up) isn't afraid of anything.
I was shocked and moved to tears. I didn't feel that way about myself.
Meredith, age 3, in her front yard in SLC, Utah
As a Life Coach, I help women who struggle with people pleasing because they were taught to believe lies about themselves.
Women who's first thoughts reflects fear of offending others or saying the wrong thing; Who's Inner Critic is loud and persistent.
I focus on this in my coaching practice because these traits make it hard to live life in a courageous and fulfilling way.
And because for years I lived that way, and now work everyday to create courage.
Actually I work to remember courage. Because it is already there.
Just like my mom said.
As a child, I was courageous and confident.
Then as life gave me experiences, that courage and confidence became cloudy. I guess it started to feel unsafe when I did something in confidence, but was then criticized for it.
So that courage and confidence got buried.
But it didn't go away.
I got to a point a few years ago when a part of me craved to feel courageous again. There was a gap between how courageous I felt and how courageous I wanted to feel.
I wanted to speak honestly about my desires, viewpoints and feelings without being afraid of rejection or blaming others for how I felt or needing them to validate and agree with me.
I was ready to take the leap, no matter how uncomfortable the process was.
So now I invite you to turn toward the parts of you that have been buried for years; Get courageous and face who you have always been, but needs remembering.
What did you love to do when you were young, that you've stopped doing?
What do you want to believe about yourself, but feels impossible or prideful?
What have people labeled you as, that you want to let go of?
Take the leap to connect with those hidden parts of you again. It is the path to becoming whole.
With Love and Healing,
Meredith
P.S. This Blog will soon be posted under Nourishing Roots because CHAOS to Calm is moving "in" there. Please take a minute and subscribe to the Nourishing Roots email list so you won't miss any valuable content.