Recently, someone dear to me approached me to have a difficult conversation. They had hard things to say, but they said it anyway. And th
ey said it with care and complete honesty.
It meant so much to me.
In my relationships, I would rather someone speak up about something uncomfortable, than live weeks, months, or years feeling uncomfortable around me.
Even though I know they are responsible for their feelings, and I am responsible for mine, we do influence each other within the relationships we have.
But We do need to communicate; We are creatures aching for connection.
Connection with others happens on the other side of discomfort. Connection happens when we allow ourselves to be afraid to have a conversation, and then we have it anyway.
Connection happens when we open up to the possibility that we might be wrong.
Connection happens when we speak up, not out; Speaking up is a way of honoring ourselves while we also maintain consideration for others. Speaking out is more about just being heard.
Connection happens when we stop waiting for the other person to be different and step into finding out who they are.
The difficult conversation this dear person opened up with me spun into other meaningful topics and deep discussion.
It turns out, we were both wanting the same things. We discovered how similar we are. We accepted where we were different.
I realize not all difficult conversations have happy endings.
What if you don’t say it quite right, or they don’t receive the hard truth well?
In that case, I want to offer that nothing has gone wrong. Because the conversation doesn’t have to be over.
Each conversation is just a part of the last one and leading to the next. There is no deadline, no rush.
One that was dropped months or years ago can be reintroduced if necessary.
Conversations themselves have connections.
And we are the link.